


Kitchen Floor

by smolalienbee



Series: Elijah Kamski's demons [3]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Canon Related, Canon Universe, Character Study, Connor's soft, Elijah Kamski still has mental health issues, Feels, Fluff, Fluffy Ending, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Insomnia, Light Angst, Loneliness, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Past Abuse, Post Peaceful Route, Post-Canon, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Social Anxiety, so soft, who would've thought
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-07-05 20:40:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15871350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smolalienbee/pseuds/smolalienbee
Summary: Sleeping has never been one of Elijah Kamski's strongest suit. But how would anyone be able to sleep peacefully if they're completely alone, surrounded just by their own demons?





	Kitchen Floor

**Author's Note:**

> Catch me writing everything that I can while I still feel like writing (I'm pretty known for starting fics and never finishing them, hence why the shorter forms now, it's the only thing I can actually finish). Another one where nothing really happens and I just make Elijah suffer, whoops. Okay, maybe it's not that bad, but still. Hope you enjoy!

 

Another one of the many, many sleepless nights.

Elijah spent a long while laying in bed. Staring at the ceiling. Tossing around.

Nothing.

His eyelids felt heavy, but the rest just couldn't come.

And the longer it went on, the more frustrated he was getting.

Finally, fed up with it all, he got out of bed. His bare feet touched the carpet laid across his bedroom floor. He stretched out. His limbs felt heavy. He was just so tired. He had spent most of the day at Cyberlife's headquarters, trying to work things out. Arguing first with the shareholders and then the scientists. He made sure to keep up the act. Made it seem like he was in control, when in reality, everything was slipping through his fingers.

How was he supposed to clean up Cyberlife's mess if he himself was a mess?

He padded through the house without turning the lights on. Headed to the kitchen.

 

“ _Why did you even come back?”_

“ _We don't need a CEO like you.”_

“ _You only care about your own interest.”_

 

Oh, he was sure they were all thinking that. Why? He couldn't figure it out. It was never about him. It was always about his creations, but certainly not him.

But everyone was convinced he was in it for the money. For the fame. They just couldn't be more wrong.

He wished he had the energy to get angry about it. Back in the day, he did. Before leaving Cyberlife, he had spent weeks trying to get through to them. To show them what the company was supposed to be about. Creating intelligent machines that would not only be helpful to humans, but also their equals.

How stupid he was to think they'd go with it?

How stupid he was when he first created Chloe to think anyone would want the same thing?

It was all about the money. Always. His enthusiastic, silly little brain thought they all shared his passion, but no.

He could see it clearly now.

Curse his naive dream.

Curse the damn world where the only thing that mattered was money.

Of course, Elijah wasn't a selfless man, either. He knew that. He was only human and humanity had its own flaws.

Humans were such selfish creatures.

Part of the reason why he agreed to all the deals, back when Cyberlife was first created, wasn't just so they could support the company's grow. It was for himself, as well.

If the company grew, people would notice him.

He'd find comfort

Appreciation.

And then it all blew up in his face.

People didn't admire him. Maybe some did. But the majority?

 

“ _Elijah Kamski thinks he's greater than God.”_

“ _He's an eccentric mysterious millonaire.”_

“ _A freak.”_

“ _Delirious. Frightening.”_

 

Just like the good, old school days. But with one difference – now it wasn't just his classmates that said these things. It was the whole world.

It was so, so much worse.

He put the glass down on the kitchen counter with much more force than necessary. Poured some whiskey. Downed the glass almost immediately, then poured another one.

He wanted to claw his brain out of his skull.

It was so active. It always had been. Keeping him up at night, distracting him whenever he needed to be focused. It took him a while before he sharpened his senses enough to remain focused on his own work. And to this day, he struggled. It was the cause of his anxieties, of his inability to connect with others. The reason why he found androids to be far better companions.

And now his thoughts were running at a high speed yet again. He swallowed thickly, gripping the glass tightly as he slid to the floor. His back pressed up against one of the cupboards. He wanted his mind to just shut up already, but it wouldn't even slow down. He finished the glass and shakily put it down on the floor. Pulled out his phone. He typed clumsily, fingers shaky.

 

**To: _Connor_**

_02:34 AM_

can u come over

 

His phone vibrated almost immediately and he had to grip it tighter to make sure it wouldn't fall to the ground.

 

**Received _(1)_ message**

**From: _Connor_**

_02:34 AM_

Right now?

 

_02:35 AM_

yes

 

_02:35 AM_

It's late. Are you okay?

 

_02:35 AM_

yes

 

He hit send, but then paused for a second. Was he really okay? Sitting on his kitchen floor, curled up, trembling. Connor would've scolded him for saying yes in that situation.

 

_02:37 AM_

not really

 

_02:38 AM_

it's the usual

 

_02:38 AM_

I will be there shortly.

 

Elijah let out a heavy breath, his phone finally falling to the ground with a soft thud. He tilted his head, letting the back of it hit the cupboard behind him. He closed his eyes, pulling his knees closer to his chest. He needed a distraction. Someone to keep his mind from drifting. The Chloes were there for that purpose, originally, but now they had been gone for a while. Now he was alone there. His demons free to run around in the dark.

He didn't know what was worse. The solitude or being surrounded with people

He wasn't sure how much time passed as he sat there like that. Shivering, out of nerves. His thoughts still running. But then he heard footsteps, a flash of blue in the dark kitchen.

“Elijah?” The android's voice was soft and concerned.

Connor approached him tentatively, almost as if he was a frightened animal that'd bite him if he moved too fast. Elijah couldn't blame him. The android was right to thread the water carefully when he was in this state of mind.

He crouched down next to him, brown eyes moving all over his body. Elijah was convinced he was running a scan on him.

“What happened?”

Kamski shrugged and shook his head. “Couldn't sleep,” he muttered in response, letting his head hang.

“You've been drinking,” Connor almost sounded hurt. Put off.

Elijah sighed. The android had certainly seen too much of his lieutenant passed out on the floor, with an empty bottle next to him. Not a fun memory to have, he was sure of it. He felt bad for having to put him through that as well.

“Not much. Thought it'd help. It never does,” he muttered.

Connor sighed. He hesitated. Elijah glanced up at him and he could see the conflicted look on his face.

“I'll get you back to bed.”

“You know it's not going to help.”

The android furrowed his brows, his LED now changing to yellow. Slowly, he moved to sit down on the floor next to Elijah, their shoulders practically pressed up against each other.

“Chloe has suggested that I convince you to get a pet.” Ah. There it was. A distraction.

“A pet, huh?”

“Yes. She... they all think it'd be good if you had some company.”

“They're not wrong about it.” No point lying about it. Not to Connor, who knew him so well and had already helped him through several outbursts like that one.

 

They sat there, on the kitchen floor. Just talking and talking.

Connor suggested getting a dog. Or a few. He seemed excited about the idea, Elijah told him he'd think about it when he wasn't so deadly tired and anxious.

He told him about how he and Hank visited Cole's grave. How the man was finally coming to terms with what happened. How he was getting better. Happier.

He talked about Jericho. About Chloes settling in with the other androids. How he didn't feel entirely comfortable there yet, surrounded by people that didn't trust him completely. Understandable, Elijah told him. He wouldn't be able to feel comfortable there, either.

He recalled how kind Markus and Simon were to him. How North had her days. How she had grown kinder. Still didn't want to have anything to do with the humans, but at least she smiled more.

 

Seconds passed.

 

Minutes.

 

Hours.

 

The sun started seeping into the room through the large, glass windows. Elijah's thoughts were finally slowing down. Despite how exhausted he was, he felt lighter. Calmer.

He didn't know when he ended up with his head on Connor's shoulder, side pressed up against the android.

He fell asleep like that, on the kitchen floor, with the sun shining in his face.

“Sleep well, Elijah.”

 


End file.
